Unwilling to Settle
by TheYearoftheInsane
Summary: Casey's proposal forces Jane to stop hiding her feelings. A multi-chapter story about Jane and Maura finally confessing their feelings.
1. Chapter 1

Her heart was too full of ache for words. Its thump-thump, slowed by tireless reminders of why she loves her-why no amount of rationalizing could ever detach her long enough to move on.

"Congratulations." _Thump-thump._ Her voice was kittenish as practiced, acceptable responses fell from her lips-each treacherous syllable cracking them and stinging her as they escaped. "What are you going to say?"_Thump-thump. _ Motionless, she felt the room around her dissolve.

Jane didn't need to say anything for Maura to hear her answer. Uncertainty glazed over Jane's eyes as they darted to the side, to focus on anything but Maura's face, as she swallowed the pasty saliva in her dry mouth.

Her mouth straightened into a conflicted line that underscored the indecision in her other features. The yellow light of the afternoon drew shadows across her face, highlighting its hardness, in the stark juxtaposition.

Relieved to have the moment disrupted, Maura half-smiled before she was pulled away to sign some paper work, leaving Jane standing, tottery legged, in the middle of an unfamiliar room, blanketed in all too familiar thoughts and feelings.

She knew she needed to cry-to release the tumultuous uneasiness and sadness that had been jostling inside of her since Jane had told her, but as she sat at her kitchen island, forearms pressed against the cold granite, eyes unfocused and vacant, gazing at nothing in particular, her tears would not materialize.

Her mind, uncharacteristically devoid of curiosity and stimulation, could not disengage from the image of Jane sharing restful silence with him. The thought of Jane permitting anyone else to know her like that-exhausted, but contented-chafed at the lining of her stomach.

The beeping of her phone did not penetrate the internal ringing in her head. Four new messages blinked against the tungsten hue of the moonlight spilling into the house.

Then, without warning, her release did come, not as tears, but bile, burning through her throat before splashing across the spotless counter. Her empty stomach lurched as it attempted to clear matter that was not there.

Mindlessly, she wiped it up-sniffling through the acidic remnants. Rag in hand, a violent sob laced through her, erupting from her mouth with a determined force. Dry heaves rattled her tiny frame, bringing her to a kneeling position, one hand stretched out to support her weight.

Blinking away the moisture clouding her vision, she caught her breath and slid back against the side of the island. She could feel the physical release temporarily dulling the sharp pain in her chest.

As some level of clear mindedness washed over her, a jarring knock vibrated through the house.

"Maura." Jane's coarse voice seeped through the seams around the door. More powerful now, the knocking repeated. "Maura!"

Hazy and dazed from the recent evacuation of intense pain, she breathed in and sought the calm she had become so good at demonstrating, even during the most painful of moments.

"Maura! I'm coming in." Maura could picture Jane's precise appearance on her stoop. Biting at the cuticle on her thumb or at the inside of her cheek when she first approached, Jane would have transferred her nervous energy to basically pacing by her third set of knocks. "Maura!"

"I'm coming, Jane!" Maura shouted in an unfamiliar voice, as she braced herself and began to move to her feet, scraping at the corners of her mouth to assure their cleanliness. She wiped under her swollen eyes and walked to the door, determined to appear collected.

After a final deep breath, she opened the door to see Jane, with red rimmed eyes. She fought the wave of lightheadedness she often felt when she saw Jane. "Jane? Are you okay?"

Jane ran a hand through her messy hair and nodded unconvincingly. "Yeah. Yeah. I'm ok. I've been texting you. Where have you been?"

Maura told a half truth that she hoped her sabotaging body would let her get away with. "I took a nap after work. I'm sorry—I didn't see that you texted."

"Oh. Okay. What are you up to this weekend?" The tensed muscles along Jane's jaw and neck and the shifting of her weight from side to side confirmed what had already been quite obvious.

Any sadness that Maura felt for herself momentarily dissipated as she looked at her best friend, who was clearly hurting. Maura smiled in an attempt to help calm Jane. "I don't have anything specific planned. Why? What's going on? Here, come inside." She pulled Jane into the house and quietly closed the door behind her.

"I'm going away for the long weekend and was wondering if you want to come with me." Jane's eyes begged Maura not to ask too many questions. "What I mean is, I really want...no, I need, you to come with me. If you want to, of course. I was going to ask you earlier, but we got interrupted, and then I didn't catch you before you left for the day."

Aware that her friend needed her to just say yes, without the usual onslaught of questions, Maura answered quickly. "Okay. Are we leaving tonight?"

Surprised by Maura's brevity, Jane took a few seconds to respond. "Yeah, if you don't mind. We can get food on the road. It's not too long of a drive."

The truth was, Maura couldn't remember the last time the two of them had uninterrupted alone time for more than an hour, and she was thrilled by the prospect. Simply being able to have Jane to herself seemed like a treat these days.

"That's fine with me. I'm not that hungry. Am I allowed to ask where we're going? I'm only asking because I need to know what to pack."

"You're not my hostage, Maur. Of course you can ask. No where special. I rented a bungalow on the Cape, so casual clothes and a bathing suit, I guess? I'm having groceries delivered, so no need to pack that kind of stuff."

"Oh! That sounds lovely, Jane. I am going to bring some wine though."

Genuinely comforted by her friend's genuine enthusiasm, Jane smiled. "Great. Do you want help packing?"

"No. I'll just be a minute. Why don't you grab some snacks for the drive."

"Okay. No rush. The Cape's not going anywhere."

As she walked toward her room, Maura began to think about all the ways the weekend could go. Overwhelmed by the wide range of possibilities, Maura tried to focus only on the positive scenarios.

When Maura entered her bedroom, the despondency she had temporarily subdued, tugged at her gut. Sitting on the side of her bed, she fluffed up her hair, held her cold finger tips over her puffy eyes and just breathed for a few minutes. She swallowed a series of sobs and reminded herself that a weekend with Jane was a weekend with Jane, whether or not Jane was going to accept Casey's proposal.

Jane started speaking before she entered Maura's room. "Hey. I hope you're not going to crazy with the fancy clothes and..." Though Maura had had time to get to her feet, it was impossible to fully mask the anguish on her face.

"Hey, are you ok?" Out of habit, Jane slowly ran a hand down Maura's arm, stopping at her elbow and holding tightly.

Maura looked up at Jane, felt her throat begin to tighten, and quickly shot her eyes to the side. After swallowing down the freshly formed sobs, she brought her eyes to Jane's. "Yes. I'm just tired. It's been a crazy week. Well, you know how it's been."

Jane pulled Maura into a comforting hug, rubbing firm circles in the middle of her back. Maura felt instantly comforted and allowed Jane's physical closeness to assuage the burning that had begun to re-form in her stomach.

Speaking softly as she created space between their two bodies, Jane moved her hands to Maura's deltoids and gave a light squeeze. "You sure you want to come? I didn't mean to pressure you."

"I'm absolutely sure. I actually think it's exactly what I need. Let me just grab a few things." Maura's smile was genuine, as she began moving around the room, throwing various articles of clothing onto the bed. "Ok. I think that's everything. Oh! Sunscreen!" As Maura bounced toward the bathroom and Jane chuckled at Maura's animated hops.

After they packed the car, got in and buckled up, Jane stopped before turning the key in the ignition. Without looking at Maura, she spoke with a steady voice. "Thanks, Maura."

"Jane, you're the one treating me to a weekend at the Cape. Really, I should be thanking..."

"No. Don't." Jane removed one hand from the steering wheel and dropped it over Maura's hand on her lap. "Thank you for coming. I just really want to be alone with you, and I feel like it can't be here, in Boston."

"Jane." Maura pursed her lips and dropped her head toward her right shoulder.

"I've been a selfish asshole, and you've stuck by me. I really don't deserve you and I'm sorry."

"You've stuck with me through a lot, Jane." Moving her other hand over Jane's, Maura smiled reassuringly. "That's what friends do."

"Well, I'm a total bitch to you sometimes, but we can leave it at that for now and get on our way. But, thanks, Maura. Just thanks." With one final squeeze of Maura's hand, and a quivery smile, Jane withdrew her hand, started the car and pulled out of the driveway.

Maura sat totally still, breathing back tears. She felt guilty that she couldn't muster up the strength to be happy for Jane and Casey; she felt guilty for never having been one-hundred percent honest with Jane; above all else, she felt guilty that every time Jane touched her, all she could think about was kissing her.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you for all of the awesome reviews. You are all so wonderful!_

**Chapter 2**

Maura sat poised, looking quietly at the trees and other cars passing—through watery eyes, a seamless blur of colors. She continued to stare out the window for the first ten minutes of the drive, as Jane flipped through radio stations, intermittently cursing and sighing.

When she finally calmed enough to speak without revealing the tremble in her voice, she turned to Jane, smiling. "I'm really excited to spend the weekend with you, Jane."

"Me too. I'm also really excited to get the hell out of Boston for the weekend." They both laughed and quickly fell into comfortable conversation—free of the awkwardness that had plagued so many of their recent interactions. The drive wasn't long, and by the end of it, a general sense of lightness had washed over Maura.

They brought their stuff into the house, and went to their respective rooms to unpack.

After quickly throwing her bag on the floor, Jane walked into Maura's room, jumping as she realized that Maura was in the process of changing. "Shit. I'm sorry." She diverted her gaze from Maura's half naked body as her face became a bright red.

Maura stood in her bra and panties. "Jane. It's just underwear. It covers more than my bathing suit." Throwing a top on and stepping into a pair of yoga pants, she continued. "Okay. You can look now."

"I'm going to change. You want to meet on the deck in like five minutes?"

"That sounds nice. Do you want a glass of wine?"

"Sure. Thanks."

A few minutes later, Maura ventured to the kitchen, poured two glasses of wine and then stood at the sliding screen door leading to the deck, watching Jane. Jane was standing on the deck in light sweatpants and a white tank top; her hair was blowing in the night's warm breeze. Resting her weight on one foot, Maura leaned against the door jam and continued to admire Jane from ten feet back.

Throughout their relationship, Maura had often found herself silently watching an unsuspecting Jane. It wasn't intentionally intrusive, but rather something that Maura did without realizing. Seeing Jane still was unusual and one of the most beautiful things Maura had ever seen.

When Jane made a sudden movement, pulling her messy hair into a pony tail, Maura realized she would soon wonder what was taking her so long. Placing the two wine glasses in one hand, Maura slid the screen door open and stepped onto the deck.

As she approached Jane, she noticed the contracted muscles in the back of Jane's shoulders and could feel tension radiating off her. "Hey."

"Hey." Jane didn't turn around; she kept her body square to the view of the ocean. Maura placed her hand on Jane's shoulder, walked up to her side and handed her the glass of wine.

"Thanks." The quick aggressive swig of wine, combined with the lack of eye contact further confirmed Maura's observation that Jane's mood had changed.

"You're welcome." Setting her own glass down on the railing, Maura pulled in a large gulp of ocean air, hoping it would help her continue to appear supportive. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Jane reached across her body with her opposite hand and rested it on top of Maura's and pressed down slightly.

"Okay." There it was again-Maura was being so un-Maura-like. She was allowing the details surrounding the moment to just be and it did not go unnoticed by Jane.

Visibly holding something back, Jane shook her head repeatedly. "No. It's not okay." Removing her hand and placing it on the deck railing, Jane repeated, "It's not okay."

"What do you mean, Jane? I hate seeing you like this."

Jane turned her head and looked at Maura, who was looking supportively in her direction. The pure devotion that Maura had always demonstrated tugged at the muscles in Jane's face, and she smiled before reaching out and pulling Maura into her.

This desire to hold Maura was nothing new for Jane; since they had first become friends, she regularly found herself reaching out to hold Maura, even in moments when Maura was the stable and strong one. Something about the way that Maura's slightly smaller bones and softer body molded into Jane whenever they embraced made Jane feel like everything was going to be fine.

Maura never moved to pull out of a hug too soon, and she never made Jane feel like the touch was unwelcome. Sometimes, Maura would out a small sigh, letting Jane know that she felt equally blissful in the embrace.

The comfort of the moment settled and Maura began to struggle with the arousal that was beginning to resurface. If she trusted herself in this moment, she was sure that Jane's heart rate was accelerating. She felt her own heart thudding wildly in her chest, but closed her eyes and focused on being a supportive friend,until she felt something that she had only dreamed about until this moment: Jane's open lips against her neck.

The gesture, whether romantic or sexual, or not, caught fire against Maura's neck. Jane's mouth then connected with her neck again, intensifying the feeling coursing through Maura. When her lips connected a third time, just below Maura's ear, Maura released an involuntary, but very audible gasp. Jane's hold on her abruptly loosened and she pulled away, squaring her body to the ocean again.

Silently staring at Jane, who was very noticeably flushed, Maura apologized and lowered her head. "I'm sorry, Jane."

As usual, Jane feigned an appearance of being unfazed. "For what?"

"For reacting like that. I didn't mean to upset you." Maura could literally taste the tears she was holding back.

"You didn't upset me." Jane glanced back to Maura's eyes and flashed an obviously fake smile. "I think I'm going to head to bed."

By the time Maura could stabilize her voice, Jane had already turned and made it half way across the deck. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about what's bothering you?"

"Yep. I'm sure."

"Okay. Sleep well."

"You too."

Maura stayed cemented in place, with her hand over the area of her neck that Jane had kissed. Her body quaked in reaction to the arousal and longing racking her insides-the ceaseless and plaintive sounds of the ocean rising and falling with her languishing.

Finally, she left the deck and made her way back to her room. As she settled under the covers, the uncomfortable moment she had just shared with Jane slammed into her, re-invigorating the immense desolation she had fought so hard to suffocate. Silent tears streamed down her face and she finally released a breath, accompanied by a throaty sob and a series of coughs.

After draining herself of tears, Maura employed the mechanisms she had developed over the past few months, as her attraction and love for Jane had grown at an uncontrollable rate. She sniffled a few more times, stopped crying, and momentarily drowned her feelings.

Jane sat in her room, on the edge of her bed, staring at the wall. "I'm such a fuckin' asshole." As she shook her head in disgust, she could not focus on anything except the image of Maura standing alone on the deck, with obvious tears building in her eyes-her eyes that were paler than ever before. "Damn it."

Without thinking further about it, Jane got up and tiptoed her way down the short hallway and stood anxiously outside of Maura's door. Hearing Jane's movements, Maura sat up. "Jane? Is that you? You can come in."

The door creaked open, revealing a distraught looking Jane. "Hey."

"Hi. Are you having a hard time sleeping?"

"Yeah."

"I am, too."

"Do you mind?" Jane motioned toward the space in the bed next to Maura.

"Of course not." Maura scooted further over to the side of the bed, while pulling back the covers on the empty side.

Jane slid under the covers and turned to face Maura, who was still on her back, afraid to turn over. "Thanks."

"Anytime. You know that, Jane."

"Yeah. I do." Jane stared at the side of Maura's face, until Maura finally relented and met her stare.

"Did you want to talk more?"

"No. Well, maybe. Can you face me?"

Apprehensively, Maura rolled onto her side and looked at Jane with tired eyes. "I'm a total asshole, Maura. I'm sorry. I know this is my second time delivering this speech today, but I really do mean it when I say I'm sorry." An immovable sincerity was tethered to Jane's words.

Maura always wanted to assert herself and teach Jane a lesson, but it wasn't in her nature to be blindly stubborn. She always forgave Jane. In her heart she knew that her ability to forgive would eventually erode if Jane continued to close her out and mistreat her, but right here, Jane deserved absolution.

"It's not a big deal, Jane. I know you're going through a hard time." Maura stared past Jane briefly and then returned her eyes to Jane's. "I just want to be here for you. I want to help you through this."

"Just you're being here is more than enough. No matter what I am going through, I should never treat you like that. You deserve so much better than that, Maur." Weighty tears rolled from Jane's eyes as she took Maura's hands in hers, giving a gentle squeeze. "Thank you." Jane brought one of Maura's hands to her lips, kissing it delicately.

A sense of tranquility engulfed Maura, warming her. "You're welcome Jane."

After a few minutes of lying in quiet comfort, both women fell asleep-their fingers still interlocked.


	3. Chapter 3

_You are all so encouraging. Thank you very much!_

**Chapter 3**

Maura woke up alone in bed, with signs of Jane's body still obvious in the bed. She extended her arm and dropped her hand over Jane's spot, smiling as she remembered Jane's sincerity the night before.

She got out of bed and walked into the kitchen, looking for Jane. Through the sliding door, she saw Jane standing in the same spot as last night; the only difference was the cut off shorts she was now wearing. Maura once again watched Jane for a few minutes, noticing that Jane's posture was less commanding and more relaxed than usual.

At the sound of the door sliding open, Jane turned immediately. Her face was relaxed, but showed signs of recent tears. Maura walked to Jane's side, wrapped her arm around Jane's waist and dropped her head on Jane's shoulder. "What can I do, Jane?"

"I'm fine. I just needed a good cry and I got one out." A calm, unstrained breath further loosened Jane's posture. "Thanks again for last night."

She turned to face Maura and shot her a wobbly, goofy smile that made Maura giggle. "Let's eat breakfast and park our asses on the beach for the day."

Nodding, Maura reached up and ran her thumbs under Jane's eyes to wipe away the remnants of tears. "That sounds perfect."

"Sweet. My pale ass needs some sun and so does yours." She gave Maura's ass a light smack.

"Whatever you say, Jane."

The two women ate breakfast and headed out to the beach. After an hour of lounging, Jane's boundless energy refused to let her remain still. Her sudden quick movements pulled Maura's eyes away from her book.

Drawing single eyebrow up, Maura peered at Jane. "Yes, Jane?"

"You want to have a frisbee catch?"

"Okay-as long as you don't yell at me if I throw it poorly."

"Never." Jane cocked her eyebrows and jumped up with the frisbee in hand. "Let's do this thing, Dr. Isles."

Jane jogged about twenty feet away and then turned to Maura who had moved a few feet from the blanket. "Ready?"

"Yes. Throw it."

Jane sent the frisbee directly at Maura who caught it between two hands firmly slapping on each side of the frisbee. She seemed surprised herself and looked up at Jane, with a proud smile across her face.

"Good catch. Now let's see that sweet arm."

Maura gripped the frisbee securely and threw it toward Jane. It took a sharp downward turn about ten feet in front of Jane. "Damn it! I'll get it."

"No. I got it." Jane started to move toward the frisbee and so did Maura. They locked eyes and simultaneously decided it was some sort of race.

"I said I'll get it, Jane." The two women sprinted to the frisbee. As they approached at the same second, Jane caught Maura from behind as Maura bent to grab the frisbee. She wrapped her arms around Maura's waist pulling her off the ground and spinning her.

"I thought you were going to get it, Maura."

"Jane!" Maura wiggled and thrashed, but Jane bowed her body back and spun them around. "Jane!"

"Okay. Okay." When she dropped Maura, Maura immediately spun around and punched Jane in the shoulder, releasing an adorable sound of frustration. "Mmmpphhh."

"Hey! I was being chivalrous and getting the frisbee that you threw directly into the sand. I was going to show you how to throw it, but now I don't know if I should."

"Fine. You're the one who is going to suffer if I continue to mis-throw."

"True, but you are the one who will have a lousy frisbee throw for the rest of your life."

"I can teach myself."

"I don't doubt that, but since we don't have all day and I'd like to take a dip pretty soon, why don't you let me show you?"

Drawing a fake pout, Maura agreed. "Fine. Thank you."

Jane walked behind Maura. "You're making the same mistake a lot of people do and holding onto the frisbee for too long. I think you might also be holding it incorrectly. Here." She reached around Maura and corrected Maura's grip on the frisbee. Maura's body immediately reacted, but remained calm, so as not to upset Jane.

"Now, release it about a quarter of a second sooner. Try to throw it in the straight line. Go ahead."

Maura threw the frisbee and just like before, it went sailing directly into the sand. "Ugh!"

Jane ran to the frisbee, dusted the sand off it and jogged back to Maura.

"Here. Don't get frustrated. Try again. You're still releasing it too late."

"Okay." She stepped one foot forward and stared at her hand gripping the frisbee while whispering, "Release it a little bit sooner."

Jane smiled at the adorable display in front of her. Maura moments like this were some of her favorites. She watched as Maura continued to line up her throw and repeat Jane's advice. Her eyes would not obey her brain and scanned up and down Maura's firm body in a purple bikini that fit in all the right ways. Of particular interest was Maura's right butt cheek which was extra exposed by her shifted bottoms. When the tingle all over her skin became too strong to ignore, Jane realized she was gawking at Maura.

"Maura! You are thinking too much. Just throw it!"

Maura stopped her practice movements and leered at Jane. "You are so impatient! This is my process."

"Just throw the damn frisbee!"

Maura released the frisbee and it flew in a perfect straight line, before drifting slowly to the sand.

"Yes!"

"Perfect!" Jane held up her hand for a high-five and Maura enthusiastically responded.

The two women continued to throw back and forth until the afternoon sun became too much. After running to the shore line, they both dove in and rose a few feet away from each other.

"God. I needed that!"

"Me too. Frisbee was fun though. Thanks for teaching me how to throw correctly."

"No problem. As always, you were a very fast learner."

"Thanks, Jane."

They continued to tread water and Jane paddled a little closer to Maura. Maura's initial reaction was to back away, thinking Jane was planning on splashing or dunking her, but the serious look on Jane's face held her in place.

When Jane stilled, she was less than a foot from Maura. "I want to take you to dinner tonight."

Jane's wording and demeanor made Maura feel like she was asking her on a date, but she ignored the thought. "That sounds nice. Do you have specific place in mind?"

"Yeah and before you ask, it's a casual place."

"Oh, you just know me so well, Jane." Maura splashed Jane.

"Yeah, well. I'm sure you snuck at least one dress in your bag, but you can keep it casual."

"Okay. Thanks. That will be really nice."

They stayed in the water for a few more minutes, allowing the water's movement to occasionally toss their bodies against each other. Sometimes it would be as subtle as a hand brushing against a forearm-other times knees and thighs would bump. Regardless of the point of contact, both women reveled in every collision.

They returned to their blanket and eventually headed back to the house to get ready for dinner.

After showering, dressing and primping, Maura walked into the kitchen and was stopped short by the site in front of her. "Jane, you look beautiful." There wasn't anything particularly different about Jane's appearance, except for the slightly form-fitting clothes and the color in her face, but Maura couldn't take her eyes off of her.

"Thank you. You do, too, of course. I don't know why I thought you could keep it casual. Your dress is very pretty." Maura beamed as Jane looked her up and down.

"Thanks. And this…" Maura pointed at herself. "is a casual dress."

"Riiiiiggghhht. Anyway, we have a while until our reservation, so I figured we could have a glass of wine and then head out." She held up a glass of wine toward Maura.

As she accepted the glass of wine, Maura noticed that Jane's face had the same look as earlier in the ocean when she asked her out. There was something both calm and expectant in Jane's eyes, but Maura couldn't quite define what it was. "Thank you." Still lost in her thoughts and in Jane's gaze, Maura stumbled a little as she stepped back. Jane braced her by grabbing her waist. The contact made them both jump.

"Whoa. Umm. Thanks." Maura brought her fingertips over her own jaw line, as her eyes lingered to the side.

"You're welcome."

"Do you want to sit in here or outside?"

"In here is fine."

Maura moved toward the couch, but then noticed that Jane was standing still in the kitchen, staring blankly at the floor. Maura internally sighed, worried that another moment would be ruined by the Casey situation. She took Jane's glass out of her hand and put it on the counter. "Hey. Talk to me."

Without moving, Jane responded. "I don't know what to do, Maura."

Emotionally exhausted by the prospect of being dragged through another endless conversation about Casey, Maura was direct. "About Casey?"

Jane's head and gaze lifted slowly, and her dark eyes locked into Maura. "No."

Narrowing her eyes, Maura quickly replied. "You're not stressing about his proposal?"

"No."

Maura's heart fell to her feet and the room around her began to spin recklessly. For the first time since Jane had told her about Casey's proposal, she felt, with one-hundred percent certainty that Jane was going to accept. Her mind started to run through all the things she would no longer get to have with Jane. Her body felt heavy, as though she were rapidly losing oxygen-her muscles were useless, her blood was poisoned.

Jane's hand on her shoulder stopped her distraught train of thought. "I knew I was going to say no the moment he gave me that hideous ultimatum."

Maura could feel her body regaining strength and balance. "I don't understand Jane. What is it then? You don't know how to tell him?"

Jane let out a quick, high-pitched chuckle and rubbed the back of her neck. Her eyes fell back to the floor for a second, before coming back up to meet Maura's. There were un-shed tears in her eyes, and Maura could see her reflection clearly in the glassy, dark brown irises.

"No. It's not that." She stepped toward Maura and Maura held her position.

"I don't know what to do about this."

Her hand slid along Maura's cheek, firmly resting at the base of Maura's skull, as her lips brushed cautiously over Maura's. The gentle touching of lips turned into soft, sweet kissing, as Maura started to respond. Her hands apprehensively settled on Jane's waist and Jane's grip on the back of Maura's neck strengthened.

As their kissing became deeper and deeper, both women felt themselves slipping. Jane's hand moved roughly down Maura's neck, where she slid her thumb back and forth over Maura's pulse point, which moments later she was spreading kisses over.

Maura's head tilted back and the room began to spin again. She had imagined this moment so many times that she felt lost in some type of purgatory. Despondency and complete elation clashed, resulting in a violent anxiety rushing through her-threatening to fracture her. The cyclonic storm system travelling through her body gained strength as her blazing arousal came into contact with her fear of allowing herself to enjoy the moment.

Jane continued to spread kisses up her neck, reveling in the feminine gasps coming from Maura. When it became too much, Maura released an uncontrollable sob causing Jane to pull back immediately.

"Maura. I'm so sorry. Did I force you? Did I just..."

Raising her shaky hand to her forehead, Maura swept away a few stray strands of hair. "No. No. That's not it Jane. I...I...what are you doing?" She shifted her weight back and forth between weakened legs.

"You didn't like it?" Now Jane's voice was choked with tears, as her fear and anxiety returned.

"I think it's quite obvious that I liked it. I want to know why you did it. Why are you doing this? Why now?" Weighty tears accumulated in Maura's eyes, as she stared unblinking.

Jane's overpowering need to hold Maura emerged and she aggressively pulled Maura into her. Letting Maura cry into her, Jane rubbed her back and pressed her lips into her forehead.

After two solid minutes of crying, Maura withdrew from the hug, but avoided eye contact with Jane.

"Maura." With a gentle, yet firm voice, she repeated, "Maura. Come on. Look at me."

Maura was afraid to make eye contact. "Jane. I'm afraid to believe this is real." Maura's fear was palpable and Jane started to tear up again, as she internally berated herself for being the cause of Maura's hurt.

Staring back at Maura, Jane knew that the only way to fix this was to be completely honest with Maura. "I love you, Maura." Her voice echoed in her eyes as she tried to remain brave.

With her eyes on the floor, Maura continued to bite at her lower lip.

"What I mean is..." She captured Maura's hands and squeezed, causing Maura to finally look up. "I'm in love with you."

Maura's breath caught and took half a step back, still holding onto Jane's hands. "Do you really mean that, Jane?"

"Yes. With everything I am."

Dumb-struck, Maura just stared at Jane, her body now trembling. "Maura?" Jane remained completely still as she waited for Maura to respond. "Maura?"

As if finally able to understand what Jane had said, Maura spoke with a soft confidence. "I love you, too. I'm in love with you, too."

Trapped in endless grins, the two women just stood there, inches apart, until Maura moved closer and reconnected their lips, in a tender, but wet kiss. Talking into the kisses, Maura began to ramble. "I've loved you for so long, Jane. I never thought you could love me like I love you."

At that, Jane pulled back and replied. "Don't say that, Maura. I'm the lucky one. You are so, so perfect. I'm so sorry I've been so selfish for so long."

"Let's sit down." Jane made her way to the couch and looked up at Maura, patting the space next to her, which Maura eagerly filled.

"There is something else I have to tell you." Seeing panic rise in Maura's face, Jane quickly qualified her statement. "It's not bad. It's good. Don't look so scared."

"I'm sorry." As she spoke, Maura fumbled with her dress, straightening it out and running her hands over it repeatedly. "You just have a tendency to retreat and I got nervous."

"That's okay." She stopped Maura's frantic movements by plopping her hand on top of Maura's. "You're totally right and I deserve that." She pecked Maura's mouth. "Anyway, what I was going to say is..."

Suddenly Jane looked shy, and Maura noticed a bashful hue on Jane's cheeks. Still, Maura was too curious to wait. "What is it, Jane?"

A smile was building slowly on Maura's face. "Jane?"

"Well…" Jane leaned in, her mouth almost touching Maura's ear, and whispered, "I think you're really, really sexy."


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you for the continued encouragement and support :)_

A sharp shiver traveled through Maura causing her to involuntarily tense her shoulders and hold her breath.

"And I think about you a lot." Jane moved her hand over Maura's stomach, over the fabric of her dress, and slowly circled her belly button through her dress. Both women whimpered as Maura's excited nipples visibly poked through the thin material covering her chest.

Maura was crumbling under Jane's touch. "Jaaaaaannnnneeee." She continued to hum as Jane's hand slid over her hipbone, stilling on her thigh.

"Wow, Maura. You look so hot when you're...hot." Dropping her hand to Maura's ankle, Jane slowly ran it up her calf, where she lightly trailed her fingers over the contracted muscles.

"Oh my god, Jane." Jane's hand was now at Maura's knee and was not stopping. Maura's upper body pressed back into the couch and her eyes closed. Jane's hand dipped under the light fabric of Maura's dress, coming into contact with the feverish skin of Maura's thigh and then upper thigh, where it finally stopped. "Not being able to touch you has been excruciating. You can't imagine how many times I've thought about this, Maura."

She scratched the velvety skin inches away from Maura's pulsing center. "Yesssss...mmmm...I can." Maura was shocked that she was able to form a coherent sentence, given her body's reaction to Jane's hand that had just started massaging her upper thigh. "Every day and every night, for a very long time, Jane. I've never wanted anything so badly in my life."

As she traced the shell of Maura's ear with her tongue, Jane muttered, "Me too."

After a few more seconds of rubbing the inside of Maura's upper thigh, Jane reluctantly pulled back a few inches. "I still want to take you out. You look way too beautiful to stay in for dinner."

"We don't need to go out, Jane. I reeeaaalllly...oh...don't mind."

"As much as I want to just undress you right here, and touch every inch of you with my hands and mouth, I think I should at least take you to dinner first."

Maura pouted back at Jane. "As long as you promise that after dinner we can pick up where we left off."

Slowly, Jane removed her hand from Maura's thigh and brought it to the side of Maura's neck. "You know it."

Moving to her feet, Jane extended her hand to Maura, who was still catching her breath. "Thank you." Jane used extra force to pull Maura directly into her body and wrapped one arm around Maura's waist. Tightly connected at their hips, the two women kissed and melted into each other.

Maura withdrew, gasping for breath. "I need to freshen up before we head out. Do you mind?"

"Of course not, although you look perfect just like this."

"My makeup is a mess."

"Nope." Jane swept a few strands of hair out of Maura's face. "You look perfect."

Smiling back at Jane, Maura blushed slightly. "I'll be quick."

"Okay." After pecking Jane's mouth one more time, Maura walked toward her room. When she entered she walked straight to the bed and sat at the edge, attempting to gain mental control over everything that had happened.

Covering her mouth, she spoke into her hand. "Oh my god." Everything she had suffered through up to the moment Jane kissed her was worth it. Every moment of hurt and insecurity was insignificant in comparison to the feeling of Jane wanting her…loving her.

Giggling and sniffling, she walked to the mirror and beamed as she thought about Jane telling her she loved her. Gently, she rested her forehead against the mirror and caught her breath. "Okay. Okay. I've got to pull it together." Finally, she fixed her makeup, straightened out her dress and exited the room, feeling weightless at the thought of the night ahead of her.

Meanwhile, Jane stood in the kitchen with an enormous smile on her face. Bringing the side of her fist down on the counter several times, she repeated in a quiet whisper. "Yes. Yes. Yes." It was her impulse to jump and flail, but she didn't want Maura to witness her ridiculous display of elation.

The sun was about an hour above the horizon, and sending the perfect amount of filtered light through the large deck windows. When Maura emerged from the hallway, she was cloaked in gold light that blended the outline of her body with late afternoon hues. Jane was once again slammed with the reality of their progress and wanted to run up to Maura, pick her up and spin her around. She controlled her impulse and just watched in awe as Maura walked toward her.

When Maura was about a foot away, Jane moved to catch her hand, and Maura reached out, happily accepting. "Ready?"

"I am." Maura slid her fingers between Jane's, as she replied. They walked out of the house, still holding hands, until they reached the car.

When they arrived at the restaurant, a revised version of familiar comfort settled around them. Still unable to shake their childlike grins, they sat for a few minutes just staring at each other-their feet occasionally touching under the table.

"You are so beautiful. Have I mentioned that?" As the words tumbled from her mouth, Jane realized how dorky she sounded, but she didn't care.

In an attempt to mask her timidity, Maura chuckled as she placed her glass down. "You have, but I really like hearing you say it."

"Good. You should probably get used to it because I'm going to be telling you all of the time."

"Well, that goes both ways, Jane. You are absolutely gorgeous."

At the end of the meal, Jane slipped her hand over Maura's knee under the table, causing Maura to jump in surprise. Jane immediately removed her hand, but Maura grabbed hold of it. "I'm sorry. You caught me off guard. Please keep it there."

"Geeesh. I was nervous there for a second."

"You don't need to be nervous about anything. You can touch me whenever and wherever you want."

"Is that so?" Jane moved forward in her chair and slid her hand further up Maura's leg. Maura's muscles twitched under her hand. "Let's get dessert and then get out of here. I'm really looking forward to getting back to where we were before dinner."

"Me too." Maura spread her legs and scooted all the way forward in her chair, bringing Jane's hand in contact with her upper thigh.

Jane trembled as her fingers grazed the warm, supple skin. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Never. I do, however, have a counter offer for your plan. Let's get dessert to-go, so we can get back sooner." As she tilted her head, Maura widened her eyes and cocked both of her eyebrows.

"That's an excellent plan."

"I think so." Maura leaned forward and winked at Jane.

They ordered dessert, paid, and headed back to the house.

When they walked into the house, Jane placed the dessert bag on the counter and turned to Maura who was just standing there, with a ferocious, yet innocent look in her eyes. Jane allowed Maura's glare to penetrate her for a few seconds and then pounced, smashing into Maura and kissing her roughly. Maura's reaction made clear that the new, unruly energy in their movements was absolutely welcome. She dropped her purse to the floor and locked her arms around Jane's neck. Her hips pushed forward into Jane and a guttural moan rumbled from deep in her chest. Jane's forward motion continued as she backed Maura up against the wall.

Neither of them knew how, but a few moments later, Maura was panting with her hands pinned above her head and Jane's thigh pressed between her legs. As Jane began to push Maura's dress up toward her hips, Maura groaned. "Jaaaannnneeee. I want more of you."

"Do you want to move to my room?"

"Mmmmhmmmm." Maura affirmed as Jane pulled at her bottom lip with her teeth.

Jane pushed off the wall, catching one of Maura's hands as she turned toward the hallway. She enthusiastically led Maura into her room, where they promptly resumed their deep kissing. Jane's hand found its way under Maura's dress once again, but this time continued to ascend until it was met with damp heat.

Over Maura's panties, she ran her middle finger up the full length of Maura's slit. She continued to tease Maura with gentle strokes over the fabric, as her other hand moved to Maura's chest, where she ran the back of fingers over Maura's chest bone and then between her breasts. "Ohhhh. God."

"Can I take your dress off?"

"Yessss." It didn't matter to Maura that she sounded desperate; she was absolutely soaked and needed Jane as soon as possible.

Jane walked behind Maura and swept her hair over the front of her shoulder, so she could find the zipper on Maura's dress.

"It's actually..." Maura turned to the side and lifted her arm. "Here."

Smiling back at Maura, Jane nodded. "Good to know."

She glided the zipper to the base. Only a few inches of Maura were revealed, but Jane was mesmerized. She ran her hand over the silky exposed skin, from directly underneath Maura's armpit to the thin, flimsy band of Maura's panties. She hooked her finger and slid it along the band, forward and then back.

She maneuvered Maura to face her, and slowly pulled Maura's straps off her shoulders and down her arms. Tremors spread throughout her entire body as Jane peeled her dress off. Standing in her panties and bra, Maura gushed once again, as Jane's eyes combed her exposed skin.

"God, Maura. You are just so beautiful." Jane helped Maura step out of her dress and laid it on top of the dresser.

When she returned, Maura tugged at one of the straps of Jane's top. "May I?"

"Absolutely." Jane lifted her arms and Maura shucked the silky fabric over Jane's head, revealing smooth skin and a toned stomach.

"Oh, Jane." She trailed her fingers over Jane's stomach and smiled up at Jane while unbuttoning Jane's pants and pushing them to the floor. When she bent down to retrieve them, Jane grabbed her arm.

"Don't worry about that." She kicked the pants to the side and yanked Maura into her.

Jane's hands met at the clasp on Maura's bra, which she unfastened eagerly. As the bra fell away from Maura's breasts, Jane's stare further excited Maura's nipples. Jane's touch was soft, but not overly gentle. Filling her hands with Maura's breasts, she squeezed and kneaded.

"Jesus." Jane bent forward and took a nipple in her mouth, grazing it with her teeth.

"Ohhhhhhh...mmmmm. Jane. You feel so good."

Jane crawled onto the bed, where they kissed and touched each other over their panties for a few minutes, until the intensity became uncontrollable. As Maura unclipped Jane's bra, Jane's hands slid under the Maura's panties and squeezed her tight ass greedily.

Maura began to grind against Jane's thigh, threw her head back, and twisted one of Jane's newly exposed nipples. Gripping Maura's hips, Jane groaned. "Oh, shit, Maura."

Jane flipped Maura onto her back, forcing a strangled yelp. Maura attempted to sit up, but Jane shoved her back down onto the bed. As she propped herself up on her elbows, Maura shot Jane a naughty, challenging look.

Jane responded by pushing her knee against Maura's center—growling as Maura's wet panties smeared against her flesh. Applying more pressure, she moved her knee up and down a few centimeters. Maura hissed and bowed her back, before trying once again to sit up, only to be pushed back down.

And suddenly, Jane's hands were holding Maura's above her head as her firm body came down, flush against Maura. "You're beautiful." Her raspy whisper tickled Maura's ear and intensified the tingling throughout her body and the pounding between her legs. Maura's body bucked up into Jane, but Jane just continued to suck and bite Maura's neck and chest.

Her hands released Maura's and roughly moved down Maura's arms and chest, following the downward path of her mouth. Jane's mouth was everywhere all at once, and Maura was falling apart as her body continued to demand more and more of Jane.

Jane's mouth connected with Maura's thrumming center and Maura's whimper echoed through the room. As she ran her tongue from Maura's opening to her clit, Jane moaned, wanting to taste more and more. Opening her mouth widely, she suckled Maura's folds-her tongue focused on Maura's tense clit.

Maura could barely comprehend what was happening. Jane was invading her-peeling back layer after layer, until she was completely raw—completely exposed.

As her pleasure crested, Jane pushed into her. Being filled and stretched by Jane was the most incredible feeling Maura had ever experienced.

"Jane." Her body and mind moved into a state of unadulterated euphoria. "Jane" Jane was now on top of her, pressing her down against the mattress, as she pushed and pulled inside of her. "Jane." Maura felt like she was being singed into the mattress-like the intensity of pleasure that Jane was creating would somehow fossilize her body into this exact spot. "Oh my god, Jannnneee." The ringing in her ears grew louder as Jane's thrusts became stronger.

Seeing Maura so out of control, so detached from everything outside of that moment, made Jane never want to stop. As Maura's second orgasm surfaced, Jane kissed Maura fervently-absorbing her shrieks and exhalations. Maura's body seized and her hips crashed up into Jane. Powerless against the depth of gratification, Maura hissed and wheezed. Her toes curled and her hands on Jane's back pressed against Jane's rib cage.

As she began to refocus, Maura felt Jane plant kiss after kiss on her damp chest. She blinked sluggishly and watched Jane pay copious attention to every centimeter of her chest.

Still moving in slow motion, she cupped Jane's face. "Come up here. I want to kiss you" Jane lifted her eyes to Maura's and smiled.

After pulling herself up Maura's body, Jane fell to her side, draped her arm over Maura and kissed the side of her mouth delicately. "I love you."

Maura licked her lips and whispered back. "I love you."


	5. Chapter 5

**_Thanks for the super encouraging reviews. _**

With the exception of Jane's thumb moving back and forth over Maura's hip bone, they were both completely still. Maura's body continued to intermittently spasm from the intense series of orgasms she had just experienced and she could feel her heartbeat throughout every inch of her body. Those sensations, combined with Jane's current movements, caused goose bumps to spread from Maura's pelvis to her chest, where erect nipples puckered further.

Her body rolled. "Mmmm...You're giving me chills."

"Good. You look very sexy with chills." Jane's hand moved downward-her fingers lightly tickling Maura's swollen, wet pussy lips.

"Ohhhhhh...Jane."

Jane smirked as she moved to climb on top of Maura. Immediately, Maura tensed and pushed back. "Oh, no you don't, Jane."

"What's wrong?" The disappointed look on Jane's face was cute, but Maura would not be deterred.

Maura didn't respond; she just nudged Jane onto her back and deftly slid Jane's panties down her legs before crawling on top of her. With her hands at the sides of Jane's head, Maura stared into her eyes-her sincerity scorching. "I love you, Jane."

Dark eyes engaged her. "I love you, too."

Without hesitation, Maura dipped her head and kissed Jane delicately. "Thank you for making me feel so beautiful."

"You ARE so beautiful." Maura's sweet smile transformed into a provocative grin and she connected with Jane's jaw, where her mouth moved with measured determination down and across Jane's neck, and then to her collarbone.

As she nipped at the distinct bone, Maura hummed in pleasure. "I have wanted to drag my tongue along this bone for as long as I can remember." Jane whimpered at the sensation of Maura's warm, wet mouth, sliding over her skin.

"Hmmm...and these." She turned her head and glided her cheek over one of Jane's nipples. Her tongue then swirled around a pert nipple, as she cupped Jane's mound with her right hand.

"Maaaauuuurraaa. That feels amazing."

"This?" Maura pressed harder against Jane's wet core. "Or this?" Her mouth moved to the other nipple and she teased it with her teeth.

"Bottthhhh. Oh, shit."

"Good, because I don't plan on ever stopping." As her head rolled back, Jane released a breathy giggle in reaction to Maura's comment.

Removing her hand, Maura pressed her entire body flush against Jane's, so that their breasts were aligned. She then lifted her upper body away from Jane, pressing her hands into the mattress outside of Jane's shoulders, and traced Jane's nipples with her own. As the hard tips made contact, both women shivered-sensitivity amplified by the other's body.

Stretching out over Jane, Maura pushed her hips into Jane and moved up and down slightly, gently tugging at the skin over Jane's slit. Still sweaty from their earlier activities, their naked skin created a sexy friction as Maura continued for move against Jane. "Your body is magnificent, Jane."

As she slid down Jane's torso, kissing and licking along the way, she felt as though she was going to implode. The affliction she had come accustomed to hiding could now be set free and the possibilities were without end. It was both dizzying and fortifying.

Momentarily unwilling to move from the taut, yet silky skin over Jane's abs, she raised her eyes to Jane's face, and was confronted with a look that was both lustful and affectionate. Jane ran her hand over the top of Maura's head, swooping down the side of her face, through a few strands of hair. "You feel so incredible."

"So do you." Maura tilted her head and licked a hot line from Jane's belly button to the top of her slit. Met with the sweet scent of arousal, Maura moaned. Peeking her tongue in slightly, she tasted Jane's savory moisture. "Ohhh...mmmm...Jane."

Maura's tongue delved into Jane's folds. At first, she moved up and down slowly, gathering and spreading Jane's juices. Then she gradually began to focus her attention on Jane's plump, needy clit. Flicking the distended bud with the pointed tip of her tongue, she could feel her own juices trickling down her inner thighs.

Untamed warmth spread from Jane's center throughout her entire body, as Maura continued to stroke her with her tongue. Every part of her was tingling, and on the verge of something that Jane could not completely identify. It was unconditionally ambrosial and approaching at a rapid pace.

Questing up Jane's stomach, Maura's left hand clasped Jane's breast. Jane's chest pushed up, into Maura's kneading. Maura's right hand dropped under her chin, and she entered Jane's tight canal with two fingers. Instantly, Jane was propelled into an orgasm, as Maura stretched her. She hissed as her hips rose against Maura's face. "Maauurrrraaaaa..."

Maura continued to lave at her center until she felt another gush of warm liquid in her mouth. Removing her mouth, she sat up and straddled Jane's thigh-her sensitive, throbbing pussy, pressed firmly against Jane's contracted quad.

Maura was the perfect combination of feminine strength and sexual prowess. The vision of her breasts hanging forward and ass sticking up, as she methodically pumped in and out of Jane, combined with what was doing to Jane's body, created a fullness in Jane that she never thought possible. It was as if she could feel parts of her own body that she never knew existed.

"Ohh. Oh. Maurrraaaa." Her deep, scratchy voice further excited Maura, who began to push deeper.

Jane bent her knee and pushed her leg up, motioning for Maura to move against her. A grunt erupted from Maura's throat, as she began to hump Jane's leg and increase the strength of her thrusts. "God. Uhhhh. Yes, Jane!"

As Jane thrashed underneath her, Maura tightened her legs' grip on Jane, and was pushed closer to orgasm.

Just as Maura felt the blaze of her pleasure jolt from her center, up her abdomen, and out of her mouth in the form of a scream, Jane's body came to a sudden halt and her hips pitched off the bed.

As the fingers on her right hand continued to work against Jane's front wall, Maura roughly twisted and pulled Jane's nipples, unable to get enough. The image of Jane completely flexed, yet completely unhinged, was more beautiful than Maura could have ever imagined. Unintentionally feminine and so totally gorgeous, Jane was the definition of sexy.

Maura leaked onto Jane's leg as everything coalesced.

"Maaaauuuurrraaa! Unnnggggg...fuck!"

As she continued to shake through her orgasm, with teeth clenched and eyes rolled back, she pulled Maura tightly against her. Jane's walls swelled around Maura's fingers, locking them in place against Jane's rigid front wall. "Goddddd." Maura could feel and hear the copious liquid rushing from Jane.

A few choked exhalations fought their way out of Jane, releasing the breath she had been involuntarily holding. Maura also struggled for oxygen as her body finally unfroze.

They came down together-both of their bodies reeling. Maura peeled her sweaty body off of Jane and fell to Jane's side. Quietly, she whispered to Jane. "You are amazing." With her eyes still closed and her chest rising and falling at a rapid pace, Jane smiled.

As Maura draped an arm and leg across Jane's limp body and intertwined their fingers, a hush settled over them. So deliciously spent, their bodies began winding down against each other.

When their breathing began to even out, Jane turned toward Maura. "I never want to go back to Boston."

"Mmmmm...I know what you mean, but there is a lot to look forward to." Maura's voice was suffused with exhaustion.

"That's true. Like, showing you off every chance I get."

Maura lifted her head from Jane's shoulder and peered back at Jane with hopeful curiosity. "Really?"

"As long as you don't mind being shown off."

Maura couldn't answer as her throat tightened at the thought of Jane being proud of being with her. Keeping her teary eyes on Jane's, she just shook her head with obvious excitement and appreciation.

"You shouldn't be so surprised." Her lips softly touched Maura's forehead. "I've always been proud to be seen with you."

"You have?"

"Of course. How could you not know that? You're the most intelligent, gorg..." Maura didn't need to hear the rest of Jane's statement to know it deserved a kiss.

Their mouths moved effortlessly against each other for a few seconds, before Maura pulled away. "I've always felt that way, too. This may sound ridiculous, because this" She waved her finger between them. "was the first time we were intimate, but I can't help feeling like I missed the way you taste and feel. It's as if I already knew."

One side of Jane's mouth lifted with sincere joy as she nodded. "I kind of know what you mean."

Maura's sparkly eyes blinked slowly as she watched Jane's reaction. "I know it's a little crazy. It just feels like returning to something familiar."

"It's not crazy. It's great. Also, I just told you I understand. Are you calling me crazy?" Jane squeezed Maura's side, eliciting a squirmy giggle.

"No. Never would imply such a thing. Sttoooppp, Jane! I'm naked and vulnerable."

"I know. It's so awesome." Filling her hand with Maura's butt cheek, she gave a hearty squeeze. "Yes. Awesome!"

"Jane!"

When Jane relented, Maura returned her head to Jane's chest and closed her eyes, as Jane's heartbeat thumped under her cheek. "It definitely is."


End file.
